So, lately I’ve put myself out there in some big ways here at Being Confident of This in spite of my weight loss failures. I’ve told you why I hate speaking my goals aloud, why it frightens me.
Claiming that I’m working on losing weight, self-control, healthy living, is scary because it also makes me accountable to all who hear those words. It makes me accountable to myself and to my Lord, too.
And the Lord must be doing some sort of work in this area of health because He just won’t let it rest.
Last week, I wrote about the 5th cookie – how we can be like disobedient children who want our things our way. As I walked away from that post, and headed into Valentine’s weekend, I was pumped.
I was ready!
Somewhere along the line, I decided that since it was Valentine’s Day, I would allow myself to cheat a little.
It began with just a few pieces of candy that our children shared with me and extended right on into the evening with fried food. In fact, that sin snowballed right through the weekend and into Monday!
The problem wasn’t just that I failed to reach my healthy eating goals.
The real problem with cheating on my plan is that I didn’t even ask the Lord if it was okay. I shut Him out.
I hadn’t really thought about this before until one of my readers pointed out that when she wants something, she takes it without asking, even if she knows punishment (such as gained weight) will follow, because it’s worth it at the time.
I think all too often, I like to live in denial of the punishment coming my way, not because I think God is going to be angry with me, but because natural consequences follow my unhealthy choices, my weight-loss failures!
Truly, the worst part of falling off the healthy wagon this weekend wasn’t the over-full, bloated body but that I felt like such a hypocrite. Boy, did the Enemy seize on that feeling, too! I knew I was wrong. I knew I had failed, disobeyed. I knew I was a weight loss failure.
He knew it, too, that father of lies.
Didn’t you just write about making healthy choices and respecting the boundaries God gives you? Didn’t you just tell your readers that those boundaries are for your benefit? You’re such a hypocrite! You’ll never get a grip on this area. Success will always elude you when it comes to food… You’re doomed to life as a big girl…You might as well just give up now!
Whenever I start listening to the Enemy’s lies, I want to hide away like Eve in the Garden. Instead of running to the Father to confess my sin, I often try to deny it. I pretend it doesn’t exist. I blame others. I act like it’s not a big deal – just a “little” sin.
But somewhere deep inside, I know the truth of my own choices.
I know, too, that my Father is gentle and patient and loving. I know He forgives sin and removes it from me as far as the East is from the West. I know He’s waiting….just waiting.
I don’t avoid Him because of His character but because of the wound to my own pride.
I consistently fail on my own.
I need Him.
With each comment here and on facebook, with each share notification, I’m reminded of His lesson. He’s been calling me, using my own words to beckon me to His side.
He’s relentless. He pursues without tiring. He does all of this because He loves me.
He loves me.
He loves you, too, friend, even those of you wallowing in failure as I have been the past couple of days. He loves those of you who feel you have no hope left. He loves those of you who struggle with doubts about His very goodness.
You see, the Enemy’s initial accusations were true – I was a hypocrite by choice, but the rest of what followed was all lies.
I know that with the Father’s help, I can overcome, even in the area of healthy eating. I can say no to food. I can say yes to exercise. I can learn to trust the Father’s boundaries, even after a failure, especially after a failure! I can trust His work-in-progress in me.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
That promise always rings true. He is faithful, my sisters in Christ. Whatever boundary you’ve been struggling with, He is faithful. He is faithful to me, and He is faithful to you!
Don’t wait any longer.
Cry out to Jesus.
Let Him pick you up from this place.
Let Him be the author of your come-back.
When you do, the weight of sin will be lifted; the Accuser will be silenced.
And you…you will be white as snow.