The Key to Finding True Love

Some say it is our deepest human need: to feel loved and accepted. This deep  need for love – it’s why we were designed for community, granted the ability to build relationships with others.

Yet many men and women alike walk through this life feeling unloved and unaccepted. I know this to be true because every month hundreds of you come here to this space searching one word.



The problem is that we are imperfect people living in an imperfect world; thus finding true love that lasts a lifetime seems nearly impossible. True love often escapes us no matter how diligently we search for it, and thus, we end up feeling unloved and alone.

Perhaps we’re looking in the wrong places?

Many of us believe that we can fill the love-shaped void in our lives if we find that one special person we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with. That one person who will:

  • make us feel loved and accepted
  • love us unconditionally
  • bring out the very best in us
  • want only good for us
  • be willing to die for us – that’s how fierce the love is

We believe if we find “The One,” then we’ll never feel unloved again.  But even those who are happily married can sometimes feel unloved; it’s true.

Is love that lasts impossible to find then?

Many people walk through this life searching for the cure for feeling unloved.  They believe that if they find "the one" then they will find love that lasts.  But it doesn't always work that way.  Finding true love that lasts isn't a simple task.  Read here for the missing key!

Don’t give up just yet, friends because I’ve got good news for all of us today: there is such a person!

There is One who already loves unconditionally;

One who fills the void perfectly;

One who brings out the very best in us;

One who wants only what is good for us;

One who not only was willing but who actually suffered and died in our place also – that’s how fiercely He loves.

The cure for feeling unloved lies only in one person, and His name is Jesus.

If you need help finding true love, then He is the answer!

Maybe that sounds too easy for you, too simple or too trite.

Maybe you struggle to believe He is real, or that He could ever love someone like you.  Maybe others have hurt you, let you down in life and you’re not even sure if you believe in true love anymore anyways.

Before you laugh me off or click away in frustration, please hear me out.

The world is not kind to those who wish to find true love.  No, the world – fallen men and women – seek love for themselves first and foremost. We find love hard to come by, and thus, hard to give.

We’re so true-love deprived that we fear we can’t afford to just give our own love away.

But we don’t have to stay stuck that way, friends. We don’t!

I said it before and I’ll say it again.

The key to finding true love isn’t a formula, nor a special prayer, nor a happy accident, nor a karmic promise to those who “give back to the world.”

The key to finding true love can only be found in the person of Jesus.


Listen to the lengths He has gone in order to prove His love is true.

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. Jn. 15:13

 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us… 1 Jn. 3:16a

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Rom. 5:8

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. Jn. 3:16

This is True Love, friends, the kind that sacrifices all for the sake of another, even if that person never returns the love He gives.  That’s pure love like we’ve never seen before and will never see again.

Many people walk through this life searching for the cure for feeling unloved.  We believe that if we find "the one" then they will find love that lasts.  But it doesn't always work that way.  Finding true love that lasts isn't a simple task.  Read here for the missing key!

The key to finding true love is in a personal relationship with Jesus.

What does that mean?

A personal relationship goes deeper than just belief that there is a God or that Jesus exists, or even that He died on the cross for the sins of the world.  The Bible claims that even the demons recognize God and shudder, yet they have no personal relationship with Him. (James 2:19)

A personal relationship with Jesus begins with an understanding of your personal sin and how that separates you from the love of God.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Rom. 3:23

As much as we hate to admit it, we are all broken. We’ve run away from our Creator God’s original design for us, and this has left us unable to be good and acceptable and whole on our own.

You don’t believe me?  You think mankind is naturally good?  Then why are you here searching for the key to finding true love?  It should be easy to find if that were the case.

If mankind were intrinsically good, then we would not feel so unloved.

A quick glance around our world and all of its pain tells us that mankind isn’t naturally good. And if you’re honest with yourself, you can admit that you have to work at being good, just as I do.

Being good doesn’t come easily or naturally.

That fact doesn’t negate the beauty of the human experience, though. In fact, our Creator God values us so much, in spite of our flawed nature, that He sent His only Son to die in our place, bearing our shame and punishment.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom. 6:23

That death was and is ours to pay, friends!

The wages of sin, death, is what we have earned by our own choices in life to walk away from God’s plan in favor of our own plan.

But don’t despair!

The good news is that True Love took what we deserved and nailed it to the cross, just for the joy of knowing us, redeeming us, and calling us His own!

So many people are still searching for that one true love, but true love is hard to come by these days.  Read here for the key to finding true love that lasts a lifetime!

Who wouldn’t want that kind of sacrificial love in their life?

Because of Jesus’s death on the cross in your place, you can have that personal relationship with Him. It is a free gift, ready for the taking.

They said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” Acts 16:31

[T]hat if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;  for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. Rom. 10:9-10

It’s really that simple.


Believe that True Love is real, that True Love died in your place out of love for you.  Believe that the free gift of salvation is yours for the taking. Choose True Love and you won’t have to go through this life feeling unloved for another second.

The key to finding true love, the kind that lasts for a lifetime?

You won’t find it in a woman or a man.

It’s only found in Jesus.

Jen :)

Sharing with: Grace and Truth



  1. says

    Just recently, I was thinking about all the times I’ve felt unloved and rejected. Those times where I felt like I didn’t belong. Your posts speaks to me in a great way because it’s exactly what He told me – that I am love and I will be loved – no matter what my circumstances are or what people around me do.

    This post rings true. His love is constant, never-changing. It never fails. It is true. Thanks for the beautiful reminder!

  2. says

    Amen! There are so many seeking love in everything but Christ. His love is unconditional and continuous. How great it is to be loved by Jesus.

    • says

      Rhiannon, yes, I’m just as guilty, too! Sometimes I look for my husband to fill the void that only Christ can fill. But only Jesus satisfies.
      Jen :)

  3. says

    I LOVE this! Thank you for taking time to share true love with everyone, I pray that those reading it may have their heart drawn towards Christ if they are not already a believer and grow stronger in His love if they are!

  4. says

    This: “The cure for feeling unloved lies only in one person, and His name is Jesus.”
    I have a single friend who seems to believe that all her problems would be solved if she could just find a husband. But having a husband doesn’t mean you always feel loved, nor was it meant to satisfy that need in our hearts. Thank you for linking this at G&T, and for nudging us toward the One true Lover of our souls.

    • says

      Yes, we’re always looking for something more, aren’t we? I’m guilty as well. Once you’re married, it easily becomes, “If only I had a husband who….” or “if only I had a job that…” Nope, we just need Jesus, plain and simple.
      Jen :)

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