Grace-colored Glasses


Have you ever felt like an epic failure?  Have you felt stuck in old patterns that you just can’t seem to overcome?  That’s how I often feel when it comes to my marriage.  But this story is the moment when I learned to put on Grace-colored glasses and see myself through them.


Last night I had a little run-in with Perfectionism again.  He just won’t leave me alone.

He follows me wherever I go, pointing out flaws in my house-keeping, my parenting, my marriage relationship, even my walk with the Lord.  Some days I can ignore him and others I can’t escape. And I know it’s Perfectionism and not the Holy Spirit because of his voice.  He whispers lies to me: “you’ll never change” or “you’re never going to be good enough” or “why even bother anymore.”

I’ve been enslaved by his words before, but last night was different…

The location of this post has moved!  To read the rest, click here.


  1. Renee says

    Love that! Perfectionism, one part self, one part Satan. Oh, so true. never goes anywhere good. Thanks.

  2. says

    Jen, Love your post today. Don’t we all chase the unattainable “perfect” that we have in our mind. God Bless your husband for his words. Linking with Womanhood with Purpose today. Kim

  3. says

    2 Corinthians 12:9 comes to mind-“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” This was such an encouraging post as I am a type-A perfectionist and have to daily surrender to God-sometimes multiple times during the day.

    Pinned it! Thanks for sharing this with us at One Sharendipity Place this weekend!!

    Krys and

    • says

      Yes, Krystle, that verse is often brought to mind when I’m facing down perfectionism. I’m so glad you found encouragement here today. Thanks for pinning! :)
      Jen :)

  4. says

    Thanks so much for your honesty. :) We are all on a journey and sometimes we end up downright muddy in the process. I’m glad you are learning to have a little more grace with yourself, and that you have a husband who is gracious as well. You are certainly not alone in your endeavors to be a better wife, it is a lifelong endeavor and Perfectionism has no place in it! ;)

    • says

      Yes, perfectionism has no place in it! All it does is paralyze and defeat us. :) Isn’t it funny that we sometimes have to learn to extend grace to ourselves? I’m so thankful for His promise to carry that work until completion. Thanks for stopping by!
      Jen :)

  5. says

    I’ve learned so much through the sharing of my failures in marriage, Jen. It’s as if God uses this tool we call a blog to refine us into the wives and women He wants us to be. And may I say, this was beautiful! I’m so glad you shared it, my friend. We can all relate and those that say they can’t aren’t being honest. Lysa TerKuerst calls this kind of progress “imperfect progress.” I think it’s the best kind really. Don’t ever be ashamed of not doing it perfectly. Leave the perfection up to God. :) Thanks for linking this incredible post up at Wedded Wed. I’m not sure if this is your first time, but I want to welcome you if it is!

    • says

      It is my first time, so thank you for the kind welcome! :) I am definitely learning to see imperfect progress as a valid victory. Thank you for stopping by and encouraging me!
      Jen :)

  6. says

    Thank you for your transparency in sharing! God honors our patience and offering of grace.

    Thanks for linking up with Woman to Woman!


  7. richellaparham says

    I just LOVE this post. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. When we submit ourselves and obey God, He really does change our hearts! :)

  8. says

    I can definitely relate to this – I just shared a post this morning about my own struggles with perfectionism growing up. I didn’t receive my own pair of grace-colored glasses ’til this past year, and it has been such an awakening for me! I love your analogy! You are a beautiful writer.

    • says

      Courtney, thank you for stopping by and sharing some of your story. It’s good to know I’m not the only one out there still struggling with nasty perfectionism. I’ll stop by and see what you had to say about it, too. I really appreciate your encouragement!
      Jen :)

  9. says

    This was my favorite part: “I saw Perfectionism for what he was – one part self, one part Satan. Self was prideful, Satan was deceitful, and the combination of the two brought me chains of defeat I no longer wish to carry.” So wise and true! Thank you for sharing! Marriage is so much of iron sharpening iron. We all need to be reminded to keep those grace colored glasses ON!

    • says

      I’m rather enjoying these new glasses, too. Although, sometimes I forget to put them on. They only work if you wear them, you know. ;) Thanks for visiting!
      Jen :)

  10. says

    O.k. so now I am speechless. You are the 3rd one I have read so far on UNITE who wrote about how we seeing or spiritual blindness. God is setting a theme, for sure! Thank you for listening to Him! I love what you said about looking at all through glasses of grace. Oh, how I long to have those eyes! Blessings and thanks for UNITING! ~ Jen

    • says

      Jen, first of all, I love your name. ;) Second, I love that God is giving you the same message again and again. He’s so good to us like that, giving multiple chances to learn. I know I certainly need those! Thanks for stopping by!
      Another Jen :)

  11. Kathy Schwanke says

    Love this! Grace colored glasses. And how the Lord moved in your life and built you up. He calls the things that are not as though they are…speaks to the dry bones, “LIVE!!” OH how I love our Redeemer!!!

    Thanks for sharing this tender story!

  12. says

    Lots of truth here. I, too, am a recovering perfectionist! Still learning and recovering, but better than I was 20 years ago. I may have it mastered if Jesus leaves me here until I am 90! LOL!

    • says

      Haha, I’m not even sure that would help me. :) It’s one of the things I look forward to most about heaven – perfection, no more sinful nature to constantly contend with. Perfect peace!
      Jen :)

  13. says

    So honest and wonderful :) I am going to share it with someone I know who is dealing with similar issues :) Thank you for sharing this with such wonderful, powerful, humble and grace-filled words :) May God bless you and your marriage :)

  14. says

    My heart echoes yours. When I hear those lies, ugly, I cling to the truth:
    “Is that a joyous choir I hear? No, it is the Lord Himself, exalting over you in happy song. ” Zephaniah 3:17 TLB
    It is a happy song He sings, no matter what. No. Matter. What.

  15. Trickett says

    That was absolutely beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes, and I don’t even know you nor your husband. Good job, sister. Thank you for your encouraging words.


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