Writing has been necessary for me from a very young age. In the early years I wrote for creativity’s sake. I reveled in developing stories for my pleasure alone, not worrying what anyone else thought. Even as I grew older, school writing assignments brought a smile to my face while the rest of my classmates groaned.
As a teen, my writing became more introverted – the good old diary was my space of choice. I could say whatever I wanted to whomever I wanted without being afraid of rejection or repercussion.
But at some point in time, we had to start sharing our writing with “peers” in class and suddenly, writing became a little more scary.
I wrote less and less until almost not at all unless it was for a school assignment.
And then marriage, and then babies…
Although hidden, the urge to write remained and burst forth in occasional poems, encouraging notes, or impassioned letters to the editor. I might take that desire out for a bit, dust it off, and admire it, yet put it back in the box neatly where it was safe.
Because the thing about writing is that it’s sort of a portal to the soul, whether you want it to be or not. A lie detector test. A forced honesty of character and feeling.
And sometimes I don’t want to be that open with the world. I fear my words might not be good enough, my ideas not great enough, that I’M not enough.
I fear my failings as a work-in-progress woman. I fear others might see the real me. Because as our friend, Lisa-Jo Baker said, control is an illusion, and writing out truths here in this small space breaks that illusion apart bit by bit.
There’s fear in the writing, and sometimes pain in the writing, but also joy, and wonder, and beauty, and peace, and understanding.
Isn’t that the way it is with all things in life? 🙂
I wonder if the psalmist David faced such fears, or if he just wrote because he had to, because it was in him?
Imagine if he had never penned his agonies or his alternating ecstasies. Imagine if he thought no one would to ever read the words or sing the melodies, so why create them in the first place? Or worse yet, some might read them and scoff, so why bother?
We must write because our Father God has called us to be truth-tellers and truth-spreaders. We must write because it. is. in us!
We must write.
We must write because the writing forces honesty, and how can we grow, how can we progress, friends, if we languish in the illusion that is not?
We write happy words and sad words.
We write in victory and also in defeat.
We write hardships and pain and laughter and delight.
We write, “Me, too.”
And we trust Him to do the rest.
I’m joining the Five Minute Friday crew again this week over at Lisa-Jo Baker’s place. We free-write for 5 Minutes on a one-word prompt. It’s scary; it’s fun; it’s crazy. And so often, it’s oh-so-beautiful. Join us if you like! (Note: this post has since been edited slightly, so it’s not a true five-minute Friday, but close!)
Also sharing with: Wholehearted Home